I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
