oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
