You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize