she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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