I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
