so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Randomize
