I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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