Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
