Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
