I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
