SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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