I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
