question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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