My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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