He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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