Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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