Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Two words: blizzard sex
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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