you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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