PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
