I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
