Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Still dying that you shit outside
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize