"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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