What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize