peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
