I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
