I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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