ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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