Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
