I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
