found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
