i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
