I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
