bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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