why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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