you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize