But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
