How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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