No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
