I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
