So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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