I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize