just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
