Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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