So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
