you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
