So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
