I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize