my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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