Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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