they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
