Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize