those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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