Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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