im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well I just put wine in my tea
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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