Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
