She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
