As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
