we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize