I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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