is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
vagina is talking i cant
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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