Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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