no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
