he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize